Window to the Soul
by w nymph
Summary: For 10 fic, Drabble series – Izayoi Aki had many facets - the young girl, the withdrawn student, the cold witch. But deep down they all wanted the same. Deep down all of them wanted to be loved.


**Author's Note: **Hmm another 10_fics story. I almost got half my claim finished now (Though considering that I still have at least 120 shots to go overall, I suppose that isn't much of an accomplishment yet |D)

Anyway, I started to write this one already about a month ago; it took me a while to get it finished. Mostly because other ideas kept distracting me and to a part because I simply forgot about it.

For once it's actually not AU; it's just me writing Akis canon story from her own POV in drabble style. Because personally I don't think that her development through Season Two is quite that screwed up (though I agree, it could have been handled better than it was). Not to mention that I wanted to get more into her PoV anyway.

Enjoy.

**Prompt:** #10 Eyes

**Warnings:** None. Isn't that wonderful?

**Summary:** Drabble series - Izayoi Aki had many facets - the young girl, the withdrawn student, the cold witch. But deep down they all wanted the same. Deep down all of them wanted to be loved.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's.

**--- Window to the Soul ---**

Eyes are the windows to the soul. They can show every feeling, every notion and can betray their owners every lie, if one only knew what to watch for. Aki knew that true, had learned this the hard way

Had understood this the moment her psychic powers, and with them that disgusting birthmark, had shown for the first time. Had learned to read the moment her father had looked at her with those fear filled eyes, muttering the only word that described somebody like her: monster.

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Those fear filled eyes accompanied her for years, she knew they would follow her wherever she went after _that_ day. She felt them come from every direction, from every person; be it her father or mother or all those kids and teachers in school.

When she came to Duel Academia, it had seemed to turn for a better, no matter how cast away she had felt. Nobody knew her and more importantly her powers and even though she tried to keep low profile, the facts that she was for one a Senators daughter and for another a straight A-student couldn't be ignored by her fellow students and soon Aki found herself as target of eyes, not filled with but admiration.

Of course that only lasted until her first duel there, the first duel in so long, where the strength of her powers brought down the ceiling. Then those looks changed, became fear, became contempt and hate. Like Aki had known they would. And because she had known they would, because she had known that no one would ever accept her, would ever love her, she could pretend that nothing had changed. That those admiring looks hadn't made her feel like one of them. Like human.

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But even Aki could only pretend so much, and once she had seen her parents laughing, happy that they weren't burdened by her and her strange powers, she decided to stop caring; to laugh and let her powers reign free. To try and forget about them and what she truly wanted for them to feel for her.

The streets were a harsh place to be, the eyes there held far less fear and far more hate, far more promise of pain, but now Aki had the mask and it shielded her from all that. That blank mask that became part of her, that made her an urban legend: The Black Rose Witch.

The Black Rose Witch was a cold person, who laughed at those who dared to challenge her powers, who enjoyed see her opponent despairing in pain. But deep down in her heart, the part of the witch that was Aki cried, for she didn't want to enjoy the pain she brought. She just wanted to be loved.

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Divine was the person that changed everything. He was the first person in so long not to see the witch, but Aki. He was the one who took the mask away, looking at her with those gentle, caring eyes, telling her that her powers were a gift.

He brought her to the Arcadia Movement, encouraging her to use her powers against him without the comforting shield of her mask on her side. He bore their uncontrolled strength, fighting his way through them to her, embracing her, telling her not to worry. That the Arcadia was a safe-haven for all of them, who had been labelled monster. That she was just fine the way she was. That from now on, he would think for her, that she would never have think again, would not have to worry about the consequences, about the fear and pain her powers brought about.

Through all of this his eyes never changed, never showed disgust or hate or even pain that he surely felt from the being attacked by her. Only love.

And in that precise moment, Divine became the centre of her world.

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Aki dreaded the Fortune Cup, ever since she had seen the invitation. Divine had smiled when he had heard the news; the Fortune Cup was the perfect chance to demonstrate their powers, he had said.

But even though she knew it would be her mission to herald the Movements existence and goals, her chance to prove Divine how grateful she was, she couldn't help but dread the fact that people would get hurt, that what was unavoidable and most important: She wouldn't have her mask to shield her and no matter how often Divine told her that it was fine to be herself, the mask was her only means of defence against the cold world.

But she agreed, for Divine, because when it came down to it, there were few things she wouldn't do to prove her loyalty, her love to him. And after she had parted with her mask, appearing one last time in the Daimon Area (and running into _him_, that one first person whose cobalt blue eyes hadn't judged her immediately, who wore the same wrenched mark as she did; rattling her so badly – she hadn't thought there were _others_), she was ready to face whoever had the guts not to run at the sight of a monster like her, a person that had developed past the boundaries of human.

And after facing her first opponent, the self-righteous knight that was nothing but talk, without her mask, looking right at him as Black Rose Dragon tore him apart, not flinching, not thinking, not feeling shame and regret, she started to relax a bit. She would take on this mission. For herself, to live and learn how to be just herself. For the Arcadia, which had become her home, her place. For Divine, who had taken away the burden of thinking, so that all she had to do was feel. Feel and let her powers do as they wanted.

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How did he know?

So often she asked herself that question, over and over as the man in front of her dragged all those little facts of her life that she had hidden, that she hated to think about, to the light. Again and again she wondered about the _how_, because that was what's important, for she knew the _why_ already. She was a monster, a witch branded with a wrenched mark that only brought misery to her and to others.

But even that wouldn't stop her; she had a mission and he had made their duel personal. Even though she was a monster, she had feelings and she wasn't powerless. The foolish man had made her powerful, by striking her again and again, wounding not her body but her heart.

Pain was power. And power was hers to unleash. That was what Divine had taught her.

And that knowledge enabled her to just stand, watch and relish as Curse of Rose pounded her pain into him over and over again.

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Fudo Yusei unsettled her, had done so since their first meeting in the Daimon Area, back when Aki hadn't known his name.

She hadn't expected him to confront her in the hallway; once people were well aware of her identity, they avoided her and knew better than to take on her head on. But he was different, heading straight at her, without fear, hate, pity or any other kind of judgement on his eyes, asking her about the wrenched mark.

Those eyes didn't change, not even when they opposed each other on the battlefield. It rattled her, why would he look at her like that, like only Divine did. How much of a fool was he?

She would find out, she decided. She would wait and see how much it took to fill those carefully guarded eyes with pain and hate.

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"You need to think on your own!"

That was what he called, what he demanded, looking at her with those cursed cobalt eyes. Those eyes that called the truth out of her heart, making her lay bare all those feelings she had kept locked inside her. What would he know, what could he know about her pain, about her suffering? He wasn't cursed, not like she was… _(and yet he too had been marked by that wrenched mark… now that both dragons had graced the field, she could feel them radiating, reacting to each other)._

But the moment her mask touched her face she felt herself calm; the mask felt like an amour of thorns around her heart bringing nothing but pain to those who dared to touch it (and yet it hurt her too, for she wanted nothing more than to be normal… nothing more than to be loved).

She watched indifferently as he gave up his dragon to stop the destruction hers caused – is didn't matter, the result would be the same. Instead she smiled, feeling shivers running down her spine, as Phoenixician Cluster Amaryllis scattered into flames and wind, so strong that they graced her mask, breaking it. But she didn't care about that now, all she cared about was seeing those deep blue eyes filled with pain.

Yet it became harder and harder to ignore the mark; it kept sending pain through her arm every time the dragons clashed. That _he_ kept baiting her didn't help any at all _(because perhaps, she started to consider, just perhaps there was truth to his words)._

Stunned she listened as he told her that perhaps the mark itself held the answer… that she would need to think for herself, even love herself, to find it.

Angrily she lashed out, hadn't those all-seeing eyes noticed that she couldn't, it hurt far too much, and hadn't she suffered enough already? She lashed out in the only way she could on this battlefield, unleashing her dragons destructive powers. She didn't care who'd get hurt, didn't care about his pain or her own. She just wanted everything to disappear, to be destroyed, so that she could suffer in peace at last.

But then she looked up, into those determined blue eyes, telling her that he wouldn't let go of this, of her – not now, not ever.

"I'll catch anything you dish you! Vent out all your sorrow!"

He couldn't be serious, he just couldn't be…

Yet with the dragons disappearance, her pain lifted all of sudden, slowly fading into nothingness. And she had no idea if she should thank him or resent him for that.

Yet when the mask broke, revealing her face, her tears and for a second her heart, she could only think of one thing to say: "Help me!"

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The days after the Fortune Cup went by fast, so fast that Aki almost couldn't warp her mind around them. So much happened in so little time. And despite her will and try to pretend that nothing had changed, that she still was the same as before, that she could keep up not thinking about anything and just existing as she was… she still found her thoughts returning to their duel, to his words, to the way he had touched her heart.

The more she tried to deny that, the more her thoughts returned to him, the one with the eyes that had pierced through her heart. And then two days after the Fortune Cup, she felt the mark burning again and she knew immediately: It was him, Yusei, who was fighting, and when she saw that strange glyph burning in the sky, so very alike to the one in their vision, the spider that had engraved itself into the Satellite, she felt dread for what just had begun. It was a maelstrom, she felt, as storm and she knew instinctively that soon she would be pulled into the middle of it as well. No matter how much she tried to deny her connection to it.

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It was hard _not_ to think of _him_ on the day after. Even in training while using her powers he wasn't far from her mind. Finding her way into the mindset of the Blackrose Witch was impossible. Because every time she tried to summon the rage and the hate that fuelled her powers, Fudou Yusei's face appeared before her eyes, his determined, cobalt gaze starring right into her soul, promising her to catch all her sorrow.

Aki didn't know if to be angry with him or not - he had tried to help her and that was something she had little experience dealing with _(and there was this tiny part of her that hoped that he had heard her plea in the Fortune Cup)_. Except that it was stupid to wait for his help. How could he possible understand her anguish after all (even if his eyes told her that he did, she didn't want to believe).

And yet… when Divine called her on her secret hope, on that shard of doubt that lingered in her heart ever since the tournament, she hesitated to deny it, even as he told her that only _he_, Divine himself, had the ability to save her.

And while that usually his words, his reassurance would have been enough to calm her heart, this time it was different. This time she kept thinking of the other Signer, the one who had promised to catch all her sorrow, all her pain, who had managed to erase her pain, the fuel she dreaded and needed all the same. The one, who made her think again.

She still wasn't sure whether to hate him for that or not.

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She had been right indeed, something _had_ begun with Yusei's battle.

A war, a storm made of hatred and anger and fear, and when she stood before her opponent Misty she saw all that swirling in her eyes and almost took a step back involuntary, for she was not quite sure why the top-model would hate her.

But she found out soon enough, about a boy she had supposedly killed _(she couldn't remember – certainly, she had hurt a lot of her opponents, severely so, especially in the Daimon Area, but she hadn't thought that one of them had died… not to mention that she had never accepted duels from children younger than her)_.

But those eyes didn't speak of lies. Only of hate and anger and delight as suddenly she found herself facing that giant monster, the Earthbound God. But the fear that the sight of this monster woke in her was nothing compared to the despair and terror that she felt the moment she saw Divine fall.

Nothing compared to the moment in that her world stopped.

And suddenly there was nothing left for her.

Nothing but darkness and despair and the horrible thought of a world where she was all alone. Because she knew, the Arcadia Movement - her home, her _place_ - was gone.

Divine was dead. Everyone else had been victim to the Earthbound Gods. She was the only one left.

And then the building came down and everything faded away.

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When she awoke again, the fist thing she saw were Yusei's eyes lingering on her, looking relieved and at the same time concerned. It was those eyes that she dreaded, yet wanted all the same. Relieve spread in her when she saw him, but was quickly replaced by anger when she saw _him_. Her father.

Her father, who had abandoned her at the first sight of her abnormality. Her father, who always looked from the distance with those fear filled eyes, denying her a place, the security of his love, holding her at arms length. Her father, whom she no longer needed, not as long as she had Divine.

Except that… Divine was gone and so was everyone else, she had felt it. She was alone. The last monster left with no place to go. She felt despair and anger and resentment for all of them, all of them who weren't suffering like her. And before she knew it she had already activated her duel disc, defending her heart, filling this hollow space within it in the only way she knew. Her accursed powers.

And as the hysteria died and she felt her powers envelop her, she decided. If she was to be alone, if she was denied her place, then so would be everyone else. She would crush this wretched world and be happy to go down with it.

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By the time that Black Rose Dragon had graced the field that she had regained her calm. Enveloped in her hatred and anger and knowing that this man in front of her, the one who had claimed to catch all this suffering she felt, wouldn't be able to catch her or give her a place - knowing it now, because now that Divine was gone, she knew that he had been right, nobody but him could save her and hold her close – fuelled her feelings her powers even more.

When he argued that she had a place, one that she should have been at all along, she shook her head. His words wouldn't sway her heart now like they had in the Fortune Cup. Instead she released her hairclip, letting all of her powers, all of her hatred reign free, not caring who could get in the way.

Then Yusei's Dragon, who had already once taken her pain and hatred appeared on the field. But she knew, it couldn't stop her. Not this time. It was all but a sad attempt of the duelist in front of her to protect himself and the others he meant to hold dear.

She didn't hesitate to attack it with Black Rose Dragon, again and again, engraving her hatred into the Dragon and it's master with every hit. She ignored the worry and determination flashing through the others eyes, ignored her father fearful looks, his pleading shouts.

The other was running out of possibilities. Despite his words, he was just like everyone else. Unable to help, unable to save and soon enough he would be fearing her powers as well. Unlike Divine, who had caught her, had held her , and looked at her with those gentle eyes, whispered in her ear that everything was fine. That he would think for her. And now that he was gone, all she could do was to lash out at everyone else and make sure that they would be left with nothing to hold on. Just like her.

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It shocked Aki to see her father standing in the middle of the field all of sudden, claiming to take responsibility, claiming to _love_ her now that everything was already to late. And deep down she wanted to believe him, even now. Deep down there was still the little girl named Aki that had once waited for her father to come home, had ben eager to duel him, to spent her time with him. But she couldn't believe him. Wouldn't believe him. Because it wouldn't change anything anyway.

Instead she lashed out again, fully intending to engrave her pain into her father only to be stopped by Yusei. Who was blocking her hatred yet again. Still, his Dragon was weakening and it would only be a question of time until his options and his life ran out. Only a question of time until she had enveloped them all in destruction.

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She didn't want to hear it. Not his pleas for her to stop, to return to her parents. Not his promises to hold her like he had done before her powers had shown, to love her even if she hurt her – it was all empty promises, they feared her, the monster, from the bottoms of their hearts after all.

No matter how much she wanted to believe…

And perhaps this was why Yusei's voice, his gaze reached her this time when he called her name. Perhaps this was why she started to consider the possibilities he laid bare to her, for one short moment at least, before denying them again. And then suddenly he shattered Thorn of Hatred and Black Rose Dragon, tough she managed to call back the Dragon, her last shield, mere seconds later.

But he had already succeeded. Because now she was looking, truly looking at the chaos, the destruction she was causing, all so suddenly aware that she was truly out of control. And seeing everyone else and foremost her father getting torn into shred by them and realizing how much of her still didn't want that _(still loved her father, despite all her claims not to care anymore)_, she just wanted it all to stop.

And for the first time in ten years, it did. For the first time the winds, the force, the chaos, this distinct feeling of power warping itself around her, just disappeared.

And when she ran up to her father, when she felt herself held by him, while Black Rose Dragon burst into thousand pieces, taking her life points with it and the after-effects of using her powers hit her, for the first time in so long she felt truly in peace.

And suddenly she knew, like Yusei had told her – he had caught her pain, he had helped her. He had guided her to her true place. Just like he had said, it laid here with her family. With those caring eyes that held no fear anymore.

Just love. Like she had always wished them to.

_--- FIN ---_

Review, please.


End file.
